Tuesday, December 18, 2012

We Were Going to Have Twins

I have been off this blog for a few months. I took a break when I found out I was pregnant. I conceived on my second cycle of Femara following the Diagnostic Laparoscopy. I was feeling excited but extremely anxious. We were told at six weeks we would have twins and were able to hear the heart beats at this time. Statistically, when you hear the heartbeat, your miscarriage risk drops. Statistics were not on our side as they haven't been since we decided we wanted children. On our ten week appointment, when we should have listened to the heart beat and then announced to the world that we were expecting two little babies, our MD callously informed us there was no heartbeat. The issue with this MD is for another post. We had another ultrasound in the hospital, were sent back to the office to be told definitively that our babies were gone. I scheduled a D&C for later that day. With broken confused hearts we went home to wait for the time to come back for the procedure. I will later post more specifics on the procedure and recovery for any who are looking for information.  I am simply ready to start blogging again. For a while, I couldn't even process the anger, grief, and shattering of our dreams. It is time to dive back into every day life and use these experiences to help others if possible. We are still very sad and at times very confused about where we go from here and why our Heavenly Father brought us down this road. But we are choosing faith and growing over bitterness and misery. We have a long road ahead but the journey to healing and our next steps starts with just a few little steps.


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