In around eight more weeks our little guy is due. I am mostly excited but have to spend some time in prayer every day. As a nurse and someone who has dealt with infertility, I know that things don't always go the way we want them too. I panic about all the medications I have needed throughout this pregnancy, I panic because I know about a hundred things that could go wrong. Even if they don't end in the loss of my child, I fear that in some way my child will be harmed during birth.
Today, I choose to turn it to our Father. I may have to turn it to him three times a day but that is my choice. I pray for my child and I pray for peace. I will share the joy of his kicks with my husband. I will discuss getting a car seat and hope that our stash of diapers arrives today. I will not fear filling his room with the things he needs because today, I choose to enjoy every moment of his life that God allows me to experience with him. Infertility and loss steals so much innocence, so much peace, and can take so much joy away. Tonight, I will snuggle with my hubby and thank God for what I have been given not what has been taken.