Monday, March 18, 2013

Just venting on a rough few days.

     UGH. Infertility sucks!! Some times it comes right up and slaps you in the face and then refuses to get out of your face for quite a while. This has been one of those weeks. My sister is pregnant, I have known for quite a while. A girl in my community group is pregnant, again I have known quite a while. But another person in my community group announced their pregnancy. My pregnancy test was negative just a few hours later. ( I took it at 3 am, what else is an infertile girl to do when the insomnia kicks in?)  I was an emotional mess, crying at work, lying to my adult students about having a cold. Started my Femara day three as scheduled, which of course wreaks havoc on my emotions. Today, I got to schedule a place to have my sister's baby shower. All the while, thinking, I may very likely never get a turn. The only babies I may ever get to carry died in the womb and I never got to see them, hear a laugh, a cry, or see a smile. Today, I am sad. Tomorrow will be a different day, and with that hopefully a day with more stable emotions. But today, infertility sucks!!