Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Lost Month

     Friday I get to go my gynecologist. This will equal a lost month for me and my husband. My third round of clomid did not produce a pregnancy. This fact does not surprise me since the point of clomid is to induce ovulation and the ovulation predictor kits (opk) say I ovulate just fine. When it became apparent that I was not pregnant I called the doctor's office. I was then told that I would not be able to see him until right in the middle of the time I am supposed to be ovulating. So my husband and I chose not to have unprotected sex until after I see him. My doctor has mentioned more than once doing a laparoscopy since all other tests have come back normal. If this has to be done, I want to get it done. So I have to wait until Friday to know what the next step it. Considering we won't be doing In Vitro, it seems my options are becoming more limited. We are praying for answers, peace, and children. If you are so inclined, a prayer sent our way would be appreciated! I will update after the doctor's visit Friday.


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Twilight Pondering

     While lying awake in bed in the middle of the night, one's mind can begin to wander. Early this morning after waking and being unable to go back to sleep I caught myself wondering if my wife and I should give up. 
     We've been trying to conceive for over two years with no hint of a baby in the future, we're not getting any younger (we'll be pushing 50 by the time we have a child and he or she graduates high school) and time is slowly running out for my wife (the older a woman gets the harder pregnancy can be on her body and the more unsafe it can be for the baby).We've prayed for a child, but we also pray to be within God's will. Together we've discussed the possibility that it may not be God's will that we have a baby (that is a tough pill to swallow).
     In Psalms 37:4 we are told to "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." There are two different perspectives that you can see this scripture from. You can see this as a promise of fulfillment (God will give you what you ask for if you delight yourself in Him) or as guidance (if you delight yourself in Him, He will tell you what your desires should be). Truth can be seen from both angles.
     So what does this mean for us? It means that we will keep trying until God has lead us in a different direction or until we have a baby. I thank God for his direction and the peace that He brings when we ask for comfort.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Babies, Babies, Babies

The trees are fully clothed, the grass is green and babies are EVERYWHERE (Not to mention more pregnant moms just waddling around crazy waiting to pop). I see these women walking around complaining about swollen feet and stretch marks and I think to myself, "why was it so easy for them?".

It doesn't matter. I try to be happy for them, I pray that they will have a healthy pregnancy and hope the best for them.


Wednesday, April 04, 2012


     Just wanted to say Hello! This infertility blog is not going to be geared only to those facing infertility. I want to create a blog that people will enjoy reading and that will shed light on an awkward subject. There are so many affected by fertility issues but it remains a difficult subject for many. To keep it friendly to those who are seeking to learn more about infertility but are not fully immersed in this, I will be avoiding the use of lots of acronyms and abbreviations. I am two years into this mess and I still can't read some blogs with out pulling up an abbreviation list in another tab.
     I do very much plan on discussing topics openly. You cannot discuss issues of fertility in a marriage with out discussing sex, arguments, and fears. The changes in the husband-wife relationship also must be discussed at times. For my husband and I, this has brought us closer and is teaching us about the actions of love each day. The same cannot be said for all couples facing this and maybe something we say here will help another couple work through the tough times.
     I am currently nearing the end of a two week wait.At the same time the Lord has led my husband and I into a season of great change. I am leaving a small church and looking for a new place to worship. Anyone who has ever left a small church knows what that can entail and there has been some heartache involved. I know there are a lot of new and exciting experiences coming our way. There has been some upheaval in our circle of friends as well. My ultimate hope is that this season of change will change us from a family of two to a family of three. (or four, twins would be just fine with me!)  God Bless until next time.