Adoption is Not God's back up plan!

     I will write a post dealing with this subject in much greater detail later. I simply wanted to make a statement today. Adoption is a wonderful thing. As Christians we are told multiple times in the Bible to care for the orphan. However, we are commanded to do this at all times. We are never told to care for the orphan only if you cannot have biological children.
     Well meaning friends and family have very often told us to "get on a list" somewhere, start the adoption process while we try to have children, then interrupt it if I become pregnant. I am often also told that if we will adopt, I will get pregnant afterward. That may be very true. I may adopt and then become pregnant. But the insinuation behind these well meaning comments is that I should adopt as a way to get pregnant with my own child. Again, I realize that people say things as a way to have a conversation because infertility is an awkward subject and many don't know how to respond. So for family and friends of those facing infertility please do not make suggestions to get on a list, or remind the couple that they can always just adopt. Asking tactfully if the couple has thought about adoption is not taboo in my opinion. Simply the suggestion that they move to adoption as a means to increase their fertility or to erase the pain of infertility.
     Adoption is not God's back up plan for those who cannot have children. Adoption is a calling, a desire to take a child into the home and love and care for the child as your own for the rest of your life. This is not something to be done to replace a biological child.
     My husband and I often talk of adopting. When we have these conversations;it is an independent topic. It is not tied to our own fertility. I fully believe that at some point we will bring a child into our home by means of adoption. We do not feel that this is the moment God has for that. We are waiting as patiently for God to give us the go ahead into adoption as we are for him to grant us a biological child. However these children come into our home, they will be ours, wholeheartedly. Neither child will be a consolation prize.



                                                                 -her-